Failures.

I often wonder where my passion for life comes from.I close my eyes and I give thanks to the one above, for he is around me, in me, and working through me. I have stumbled and I have fallen but I get up and I go on. I have tried and I have failed but I will try again. Life is full of challenges and difficulties but those challenges make us who we are. Think about all of those times you have failed. Without those failures you wouldnt appreciate the best things you have in youre life. Those failures have taught you how to be a stronger person. They have taught you how to handle yourself in times of adversity. The dissappointment hurts at first, but it makes us realize we are humans and we can only do our best with what we have. Without my failures and mistakes I doubt I would be as passionate as I am.There is no doubt about it, Life is short but sweet, enjoy it while you can. Dare to do something you have never done before. Talk to the person you have a crush on, Challenge yourself. I have made some stupid mistakes in my life, I have disappointed people but I will always come out a stronger person than I was before. Writing gives me a way to connect to people who may be struggling in their own personal lives. If someone can see how passionate I am, maybe it will give them the hope they are searching for to continue on. Through the most difficult times in my life I have never given up on hope. This is one of my favorite quotes from the movie The Shawshank Redeption. "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies" As the holidays season approaches us, take time to give thanks Buy a homeless person a meal. . I know, I write alot about giving thanks but it truly does work when you feel gratitude towards something/someone in life. Having a sense of graititude will make you apprecaite who you are. You are one person and you have the ablility to make someone of yourself. You have the ablity to make your dreams come true and you have the ablity to fail. You have the ablity to push yourself to the limits. You have the ablity to try.

Life is like a dance

It truly amazes me how much my life has changed within the last year and to be even more specific, its amazing how much my life has changed within the last 4 months. For people who know me very well, my life fell apart and looking back on it now, it wasn't all that bad that it happened. I have gained so much more respect for myself. I finally feel like I learned important boundaries that are key for a successful relationship. After going through my train wreck of a mess I have found a new appreciation for life in general. I have always been a very passionate person but this passion is on a newer level. I like to say this new type of appreciation as positive energy. Once you start paying attention to it, you can pick it up in an instant while talking to someone. Sometimes you just get a bad vibe from someone, well that's their negative energy peeking out and sometimes you can instantly pick up someones positive engery. My mom has this down to a T. She is one of the most cool, calm and collective people I know. For the longest time, she always said to me. "You become what you think" Man she was right. We sometimes become so self absorbed in our own thoughts. When you get to a point in your life when you can control your thoughts and emotions you become self aware. Self awareness takes awhile to learn but once you become self aware, you become a leader.Everyone needs a leader around them, even if they arent leading in a "traditional" way you may think. When you are aware of your own thoughts and emotions they become easy to control. Sometimes our thoughts and our emotions flow like a river. Sometimes in life we stumble around and around. When you stumble, sometimes there isn't any other way but to fall down. The fall isnt what hurts the most, its the getting back up which hurts the most.Everything you knew before you can toss it out the window because those were negative thoughts and negative thoughts attract more negative things in your own life. I sometimes feel like I am a chicken crossing a busy road. The chicken will slowly peek its head across the road to see if any cars are coming then hesitate for a little bit. The chicken waits and waits then when the coast is clear, the chicken slowly crosses the street with his eyes wide open, hoping fate isnt the hunter. You may wodner what this has to do with the blog title "Life is like a dance". Well recently I have picked up dance lessons. I never thought that I could learn how to dance. I mean I love music but I never thought I would gain the confidence to dance but let me tell you, its A LOT of fun.Sometimes in life you need to just get out of the comfort zone we are all used too. Breaking free of that zone will make you more aware of the abilites you have has a human beining. The type of dance I am learning is called West Coast Swing. Let google be youre friend to get a little better idea of what I am talking about. Life is always changing, just like in a dance. You are never in the same position. Learning how to dance, isnt easy but its something that I have really come to enjoy. Life throws you all kinds of curve balls, its up to you to know how to deal with what you have been delt with.

Gratitude

There are so many things in my life that I am beyond thankful for. This is a reminder of all the things that I have been blessed with over the past 26 years I have walked on this earth. First off, I want to say thank you for being alive. It's one of the best feelings to know that every day above ground is a good day. We all focus on the negative things that life throws at us but how often do we take the time to say thanks for what we have. I am thank for my awesome family. Without them, I wouldnt be half the person I am today. They love me, they support me, and sometimes they want to hang me but thats just a reminded that I am human and I do make mistakes. There have been many times when I know they have questioned my motives in life but I know they were 100% behind me even if it was something different than what they wanted. I carry around something called a gratitude rock with me where ever I go. I put this little rock in my pocket and every time I touch it, I have to give thanks for something, anything that pops in my head. It really does work, you start to pay attention to your thought process and what you are thinking about. Feeling greatful to be able to put gas in your own car makes you realize that yes, there are people out there who have no car. I know you have heard this saying before, but someone else does have it way worse than you. Call it selfish thinking, but I calling just being aware of who you are and what you have in life. I have alot of gratitude towards the few ex girlfriends that I have had along the way. They have come into life life and taught me what I need to fix about myself as a person and what I dont want in a spouse. I am thankful for the close group of best friends in my life. I dont have to list names because you know who you are. All of my close friends I have been friends with for more than 6 years. They know me inside and out as a person. They arent afraid to call me out on things I may be doing wrong. I am even gratefull for all the people I have come across in my life who have doubted me. Without the seed of doubt, I wouldnt of been able to push foward and take the less road traveled. People may look at me and ask what are you doing and they may not understand and thats okay. When people live their life with full of passion, they are afraid to say, think or feel. They are often very intune with what they are thinking..which then creates their feelings. I am grateful that I have been given the gift to be able to feel what I think. I allow myself to feel sad then I let the sadness go. I let myself feel angry then I let the anger in me go. Anger is like a double edge sword. It hurts both people in the end. I am grateful to be able to wake up in the morning with a cup of coffe and have the ocean basically in my backyard. Taking the time to watch the sunrise over the ocean really puts your own life into prespective. Youre life is really small, compared to what is out there. Next time you are feeling sorry for yourself, carry around a gratitude rock for a week and simply give your thanks, for anything, being alive, having a wonderful spouse, the food on the table, your job. When you start feeling thanful things in your own life will start to change and you will begin to see life in a different light. May the joy be with you.

The Human Spirit.

How many times have you found yourself in a situation where you thought the whole world was crashing down around you?Your best friend betrayed you. The one you loved, cheated. How many events have happened in your life that were out of your control? some of the most challenging times we face has humans happen on a tuesday afternoon, you get the idea,they just happen. You go to the doctor, feeling not yourself, you come out dealing with stage three cancer. Your life as you know it is limited. The count down has begun. You start playing the "what if" game. What if that, what if this. Your driving through an intersection on a monday morning and you are t-boned by a semi and survive. The human spirit is an amazing entitiy. It speaks to us when we are searching for the answers we cant find ourselves. Its the gut feeling you get when you think "something isnt right" and turns out to be the case. Its making a choice and finding out it saved your life. When you have faith in yourself the human spirit will erase any sense of doubt. Doubt creats worry, when you worry you create emotions that are negative and it can become paralyzing. This is when the human spirt will speak and it will speak to you in ways that you have never been able to comprehend. I call it the "Aha" moments in life. When you finally get it something just clicks. How many times have you felt like giving up but something deep within kept you going and you look back and wonder how you got through that difficult time? The moments when we feel like giving up on ourselves are when the human spirit is screaming at us. The body can be beat, the mind can play tricks on us but the human spirt is where we find many truths about ourself. This is when we see "Who"we are we see the weaknesses, the burdens we have created, and the joy thats in our life. The spirit carries us and guides us when we may not be able to see the light. We all have the ability to tap into this energy that is within. This type of engery, human spirit, whatever you want to call it comes across as passion. Most people are afraid of passion. Passion is the raw human emotion at its finiest.When you feel sad, allow yourself to feel sad, accept it but dont dwell. When you dwell, you get more of it and who wants that? If you look around, we are all creating energy and put this energy into the world. We go through life walking blindly sometimes. When we are awken by the human spirit is when true personal growth can take place. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it. The engery you put out connects with sometime else. Look at two people who are in love. Love im talking about is the couples who have been together for 60 years. The couples who just have it together. There engery matches eachother and they are sharing the same passion. Call these two people Bob and Sara. Bob is creating engery as well is sara, when there eyes meet and the connection is formed what i call "Boara" Bobs energy+Saras energy. The love they share is unbreakable. They will be able to face any type of challenge they may face together. This is true love. When you find it you will know and feel it. These are the times in our lives that make us feel "alive" when we feel "alive" it is the human spirit speaking to us. It doesnt happen all the time but when it does you know what im talking about.

Run, Run Away

Turn off the lights, crawl into bed and pray to your God. The God that you once spoke about, the one you believe in.
Blind faith didnt get you too far did it?Hell, it never got you anywhere..
Run, Run away from everything you knew what was real. Run away from me. Run away from us.
Fate had a funny way of bringing us together now fate has a nasty way of tearing us apart.
Time sometimes stands still.
I once asked you a promise, a promise that you broke now I'm left with the ghost of you.
The ghost hides in my mind.
Now grasp for your straws as your world falls apart underneath you.
Throw a match on the gas and watch us go down in flames.
When the fire is put out, there will be nothing left but smoke.
You believed at one point, whats stopping you now?
Maybe one day we'll find the answers were both lookin for
Maybe one day we'll both be smarter until then the song and dance continues.
Left foot forward, three steps to the right, one to the left.
Right foot forward, three steps to the left, one to the right.
Repeat three times then reject me.
Wipe away those tears babe you are the one created this.
I take that back, we both created this. You created the mess.
Remember sweetie, I never asked for this.
Pray to your god he'll give you the answers
as we slowly become strangers.
Ghosts.

There is a Hole in My sidewalk

There Is a Hole in My Sidewalk
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep whole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit…but,
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately,

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

Confessions of an aspiring pilot.

The starting point of my memoir..unedited version.




Growing up I had a hard time adjusting socially around people. I always felt awkward around people. I felt that I was never good enough and I lacked self-confidence. There was a deep need within myself to “help” people but I never really helped myself when I needed to the most. I want you to come on this journey with me as I tell you about myself. If you truly believe in something you want out of life anything is possible. If you keep chipping away slowly at the wall, soon enough the wall will crumble. This memoir is about my life as a human and my life as an aspiring pilot and the struggles that fall in between. As a teenager I found myself in and out of what I called depression. I was unhappy with the way I looked. I was unhappy the lack of friends I had. I lived my life through other people. I struggled to make friends in middle school and high school but my shyness wasn’t allowing me to seek the right type of friendships I needed. I compared myself to my siblings and wanted the life they had more than they could imagine. I worried like every other kid who felt the way I did. Through middle school I felt out of place. I got picked on, and laughed at all the time. I kept telling myself that it wouldn’t be like this forever. Nothing in life stays the same. Change will happen if you like it or not, its something that you cant predict. Its something in my life that I have to constantly remind myself every day. I once had a dream when I was just a little kid, that dream was to become a pilot. The Dream turned into a reality when I was 15 years old and was introduced to something that changed my life in so many ways. At that time, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I just thought I was going to take a few flying lessons to see if I enjoyed it or not. Boy, was I wrong. Flying an airplane is truly addicting. Pushing the throttle forward as you roll down the runway truly gives you that “free” feeling. Knowing within moments you will be fighting gravity, something that many people have a hard concept to grasp. As I write this memoir, I hope I will be able to express those thoughts and feelings in a way that will give you hope to achieve your own personal goals you have for yourself. Flying an airplane is something the majority of the population often wonders what it would be like. The sounds, the sights, smells and the challenge can change the way someone views the world itself. It defines you as a person. It separates you from the major of the population. You stand out when you tell people what type of career you are in.

You could call me lucky, persistent, or blessed, depending on how you want to look at it. Having faith in something even if you don’t know the outcome will test you and challenge you but if you truly want it, it will be worth the entire wait. I was born into aviation. Airplanes and aviation was something that was in my family. My dad has a long history with airplanes that goes back before I was born. At one point my Dad was a professional pilot. I remember him telling me stories when I was younger about flying over Lake Erie in the dead of winter in an old Beech18 in the middle of the night delivering freight. His route was from Youngstown, Ohio to Detroit, Michigan back to Youngstown while everyone else was sleeping. I have very fond memories growing up around airplanes. I knew right after my introduction lesson that I had a new appreciation towards life and also a new addiction that changed my perspective on how I viewed myself and the world in itself, flying soon would give me the confidence in myself that I was constantly seeking as a teenager. It made me “Stand” out in high school. I was referred as the kid who was taking flying lessons. One memory that stands out is when I was just a kid of eating breakfast out at the airport diner at the Wayne county airport with my dad and twin brother. Every Saturday morning my dad would take both my brother and I out to the airplane so we could watch airplanes take off and land.