The older I get, the more I realize I am my own worst enemy. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my profession, my family, and my friends. I find myself constantly trying to meet deadlines, and promises that I have made with myself and the ones I care about.I try to plan things that I want to happen in my life. I have lost contact with what I have once called my best friends. I've made mistakes in my life that I carry over my head. I've settled for the wrong reasons with the opposite sex which has left me feeling bitter. I have let people down, and I have hurt people. I am human and it happens. I wanted to get married at a certain time period in my life, that didn't happen. I wanted to be a home owner at a certain age, that hasnt happened yet. The more I realize I want things to happen the way I want them too, they don't happen. Imagine that. I now find myself looking around and understand that life is meant to be a journey and not a race. I am a planner, I like to know how I'll get from point A to point B. Life isn't always about having a plan. Yes, they do come in handy but its okay not to be in the right direction all the time. Some of the most valuable lessons in life can be learned by accidentally taking a detour in life. I know in my life, I have took many detours along the way but have found myself back on the right path. I have seen some dark tunnels along the way and have questioned at that time in my life why I was struggling. The one thing I have never lost track of, is my faith. It has kept me going in times I didn't think I could go on. My faith has told me to push a little harder, to not give up when that's all I felt like doing. It's told me to keep my head up and hold back my emotions in difficult times. It's made me more a believer now than I ever have been.
Sometimes I get caught up in things that don't matter. Sometimes a phone call can change that. You start to value the words "I love you more". You appreciate everything that you have had help with and you appreciate the things you have lost. With out the loss, you wont know what you truly had. You start to appreciate the simple things in life, black coffee, a spring rain shower, or a summer thunderstorm. When I was younger, I thought life was about getting ahead, doing what I had to do to get the job done, regardless how I felt about it. Now I realize life isnt about getting ahead. I'm not trying to get ahead of the person next to me. Instead, I'm trying to help them succeed in their dreams. I'm not trying to take home the biggest paycheck. I'm not trying to win the race. Now I'm trying to encourage the person I'm running next to, to keep going. I dont care what size of house I will own someday, or the car I drive. What I am trying to do is be the best human being I can be and sometimes, I find that hard to do. I find myself struggling and when I do, I've learned to take a deep breath and remind myself to surround myself with positive people in my life. I know I am here for a reason and that reason is to connect with people. To inspire them, and to help them through the struggles we face in life. I take a deep breath and give thanks to the lord above for blessing me. I could of been born with a deformity, I could of been born with a missing leg. I could of been a victim of abuse but I was not. I come from a loving family. Sometimes all we need to hear from someone else is that they care. Sometimes people can say something that you have been needing to hear, A compliment, words of advice, or someone just saying they were thinking about you today. Take a moment, and appreciate where you are in life because that moment in life is exactly where you should be.
