Closing time.

Another year comes and another year goes just like that. 2012 is over. We wake up and realize suddenly another year is behind us. Where did all the time go we ask ourselves? Just add it to the list of questions I'm still searching answers for. There are some answers I've found over the last year though. I found that the more I know the more I realize how little control I have over time.  Time is an interesting concept because we can't stop it and we cant speed it up.   Even though there are countless times we've wished for it to stop. Like the day we find out someone close to us has died or is in the hospital.  The older I get the more I realize that we can't get it back either.  I've found out many times that hard way that you can only take people for face value. People come and people go popping in and out of our lives.  How many times have you known someone that you used to be close with but since times passed you realize you have nothing in common with them after all. Its happened to me before.  Think about all those past relationships or friendships that have been lost over a long period of time.  Time was in control. You begged and pleaded but it was useless. . How many times have you been waiting on someone to do something for you but it never happens. After awhile we learn that we can only count on few. Their are some people we let in and some we do our best to push away. The ones we let in call it luck, or call it fate. Maybe after all it was supposed to happen. Thats a question beyond me. When we let the right person in our lives time seems to stands still. You ask that person if it was supposed to happen that way but they are trying to find the same answer you are. They are so different than you but at the same time everything that you need. They give you hope that everything is going to be okay. You start to believe that it is going to be okay. You both come to realize that everything that we do in life is about timing. The people we meet and the people that we've lost. This pas year was a year about letting go of the wrong people in my life and letting the right people in. After awhile you'll know who is supposed to be in your life and who is not. The ones who you let in your life keep them close because you never know when they'll be gone. The beauty of life is to realize that people come and people go and the ones who we let in our the ones who will make all the difference.

Everyone's talking about change on the airwaves.

There comes a time in everyone's life when we are faced with making changes in our lives. We get tired of doing the same things over and over again but lets be honest change can be scary at times. The monotony sets in at the end of the day which leaves us begging for a something different. A new car, a new haircut, a new place to workout. You get the point.  Society tells us to pick a career once we graduate college and stay in that career until we retire and if we go a different route along the way we are judged and asked why we changed our minds.  The real question is if we desperately seek change in our lives then why does it scare us? Why are we so afraid of the unknown? is it just because of that, its the unknown? We dont know what may happen to us so we remain in the same position until the change is made for us. If you are anything like me then we like to plan our lives out on a certain time line.We set out goals for ourselves. We set in our mind an age when we'd like to get married. We set a goal at a certain age where  we'd like to own a house or condo but when that time comes and goes it leaves us asking many questions about ourselves. Are we doing something wrong?Why cant I find that person I'm supposed to be with? Am I with the right person? You know, the typical questions we ask ourselves when we doubt what we are doing with our lives.   Do we get too comfortable in our ways when something different comes a long we think we don't deserve it?  Sometimes the fear of change itself keeps us from growing. It keeps us from making new friends. It keeps us from forming a relationship because we are afraid of getting hurt again when we are more lonely now then we were before just because we are afraid of the unknown with that person. We also forget how powerful change can be as well. We get stuck in the same job for 5+ years then the job goes away and the change is made for you. Now you are faced with decisions you never thought you'd be faced with before and living comfortably seems like it was ages ago.  I'm learning how to embrace change and I'm also learning to accept the things in my life that I cannot change.  I can't change the fact that I've made mistakes in my past. I cant change the fact that I've lost touch with people who've I've called best friends over the years. I however can accept the fact that these people and circumstances in my life happened for a reason and overtime these things were supposed to happen. I've learned that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now in my life and so are you.   and I'm learning to accept that if I try to avoid change sooner or later its going to happen eventually if I like it or not and there's nothing that I can do about it.  There have been challenges in my own life where I haven't always embraced change the way I should have but looking back on those times I've always gained something positive out of that outcome. We can let the fear change control our lives or we can learn to accept it and deal with it when it comes knocking because change is always constant and nothing ever stays the same. I leave you with a favorite quote of mine from the movie Life As A House.  "You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me."



 In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti.

Hard work

I look back on my life and I finally see how far I have come. I can finally say that I am happy where I am at. I do know that I will be faced with challenges in my life but the lessons that I've learned in the past have taught me to deal with situations so I do not make the same mistakes in my life. When you make the same mistakes over and over again you never truly allow yourself to learn from that mistake. I know that I'm never going to allow myself to jump into a relationship due to past behaviors. (Most of you know what I'm talking about) Sometimes when you are faced with adversity in life you learn to accept that everything isnt going to be the way that you want it early on.   We often try and hold on to the past, the good times, the bad times and everything in between. The funny thing though, the past doesnt necessarily have to define who we are as a person. Yes, it has a major role in how we handle situations but if you learn to be flexible in life then situations should be easy to deal with. Let go of the hurt, the pain and the frustrations because it will just eat you alive. We all have baggage but it all depends on how much we want to pack and carry with us. When we are faced with some adversity it makes you appreciate everything positive in your life that you have.  If we had it our way the whole time then life would be pretty boring. I know I dont want a boring life. I almost welcome the sign of a struggle. Not because I enjoy them but because it reminds me that I am only human and I do too myself have emotions.  I dont know about you but I've always learned something positive out of something that was weighing me down at the time. The most important lesson I've learned recently is too not be in such a hurry. Slow down and enjoy life for what its worth. When you rush things in life, you try to bend the pieces until you fix them exactly how you want them. Life isnt always about being the pieces I'm learning.  I'm not going to allow a negative situation define who I am. I've done that before. I made a whole life out of negative thinking. You get what you put out there. Life is way to short to be unhappy.  If we knew how the whole plan was going to be then we wouldn't have to work for what we wanted. Everything would be given to us. The sad thing is though, a lot of people just expect things out of life. I've worked really hard to get where I am and I find it frustrating when I see people just expecting things to be handed to them. Hard work does eventually pay off.  If we lived our lives knowing exactly what was going to happen to us then we would now what was going to happen to us. We would know who we were going to marry. We would know where we would want to call home. We wouldnt be afraid of accepting people into our lives because we would we would know that they would never hurt us.  When I look back on my life, I understand that nothing is perfect nor the friendships I have in it. I do know that I value those people in my life and I know that everyone has some sort of story to tell. Those stories add depth and value to the friendship.  I dont have a lot of money nor do I own a house or am I married but I can say that all that will come in time. True growth comes when we accept that we cant control everything we want out of life. We are always going to be faced with some time of adversity in or lives. The best part of life sometimes is just learning how to ride the wave until it crashes. When the wave crashes is when you have to get up and keep on moving. Life is full of struggles, theres no question about that.  Enjoy what you have. Someone else is always fighting much harder to survive than you.