Brick Walls

Thoughts, feelings, and emotions make up who we are and sometimes our thoughts are different than our feelings. We say one thing and do another. We make promises with people, then we find ourselves breaking them. I have always believed that actions speak louder than words. You can tell someone that you will be there for them, but they wont believe it until you prove yourself. Sometimes words are useless. Why is that? We go through life having to prove who we are. Why cant we just accept people for who they are? Is it because we are all so jaded? So cynical?All it takes is one person to crush someones dream. They will never think the same way ever again. How often do you hear someone tell someone they cant do something? You have a choice, do believe them or dismiss what they have to say. As humans, we usually believe what people tell us about ourselves. I know when someone tells me I cant do something it gives me more motivation to achieve what they told me I could not do. Yet again, it goes back to my theory, We feel like we have to prove something to someone. We are told by society whats right and whats wrong rather than looking within ourselves and finding the truth. That's where you will find it. Who cares about reality tv? Who cares about all the famous people in the world. I dont. We are told how to dress, what to eat, what to think. We are told how to feel. We replace love with meaningless sex because we are afraid of being intimate. Intimate with our own thoughts, feelings and with someone else.

Once someones hurts us we put up walls. Walls that are often hard to tear down. It takes years to build trust but only seconds to break it. We all have walls. Some are thicker than others. Some are easier to tear down when we meet a certain person that looks at a certain way. We have all been through situations where we have been hurt. Nobody wants to be hurt. We put ourselves on pedestals all the time. We set high standards for ourselves but often time come up way short. People push and pull us in many different ways. How many times have you heard someone say something to you and you found out they meant something totally different? Sometimes there's a huge disconnect between our thoughts and emotions. We feel disappointed when we find out they did something that let us down. Feel what you are feeling but do not let it consume you. Accept it but let it go. The more you focus on it. The more you get it. Right now I am feeling anxious and I'm finding it hard not to dwell on it. The more I dwell on it, the more I find myself thinking about it. You finally find a person that you like. One that can ease the memories of an ex. You go on a couple dates and make it official. you now find yourself in a relationship but you are scared to give yourself like you did last time because you were burned. The more you get to know them, the easier it is to slowly take down the wall you build up over the years of unhealthy fucked up relationships you never thought you would find yourself in but you do. You put yourself out there and hope that this person will make you a better person than the person you are.