As we go through life we find ourselves having a need for people. We want to feel loved and accepted for who we are, even on our bad days when everything has gone wrong.We want to fall asleep at night knowing we have "someone" in our life who we call important. I have finally realized in my life that there is a fine line between when to care and when not to care for someone elses needs. There is also a huge difference between caring for someone and caring about someone. Knowing the difference between the two is important. When you dont know how to tell the difference between the two, and your caring for someone crosses the line, this is what we call "Codependency." Just google the word and you will find yourself with abundance of things to read.
As I travel down this journey called "Life" I've learned that this is one thing that I have struggled with through out my teens and mid twenties and I am finally learning how to change the behaviors. My "need" for people as been a little unhealthy. As my best friend says I have what is called the "Cinderella Syndrome" I have a tendency to find members of the opposite sex who, lets just say have more baggage than what is needed for the trip.. Dont get me wrong, we all have bags to check at the airport but some bags need to be left at home As I have been focusing on myself lately these past few months I have realized that all of my past relationships have been with females travel with too many bags. This is where the Cinderella Syndrome comes in to play. I want to make them feel better, when in reality I am not meeting my own needs. I want to "fix" them, but fail every time .Every relationship I have been in has been with someone who needs to leave their bags at home. Now that I know this about myself, its been a battle within myself to change these nasty habits. Bad habits die hard. This personal growth hasnt been an easy thing for me. I used to blame things on myself and I would be a "victim" I am here for myself and to take care of myself. I am in control of my thoughts and emotions. I no longer blame my thoughts and feelings on a certian person or certian events in my life. We all want to make other people feel good about themselves, but when you are constantly trying to make other people feel good rather than yourself, you start to feel feelings of resentment. It has been a painful process learning about my own needs and values instead of what everyone else wants. You can call it whatever you want, but I call it codependency issues.
I didnt need to "fix" someone who was abused in their past. I didn't need to fix someone who was half deaf. I didnt need to fix someone who was unable to have children, All I can do is fix myself. Call it what you want but I have accepted myself and I am an amazing person. Call it cocky, or call it alittle self confidence but my life is amazing.I have accomplished things in my life at the age of 26 that many people who havent. When you finally accept who you are your life really does just fall in to place. You stop worrying about the past, or the future and you just live for one day at a time. Yes I could die tomorrow and thats okay with me. When you accept you you are, you are no longer afraid to die. My energy will just continue on. Until recent events I never took the time to make my own self happy. There are many things in my life that make me happy. These are what I call self truths.
Self Truths.
1. I find happiness in myself when I watch the sunrise on the beach. It puts perspective in my life about whats important.
2. I love my family more than they know. They shaped me into who I am..in this moment..right here..right now.
3. My dad will always be one of the best men I know.
4. I love that I am an approachable person.
5. I am a great person who only wants the best out of myself and the people around him.
6. I will not compare myself to anyone else. I am my own person who is unique.
7. I will not live in the past..nor will i live in the future. God gave us the moments right now to create our reality.
8. I make a great best friend, who else could you call at 3 am when you need to talk to someone. My phone is always on.
9. I am and always be a passionate and sensitive person and there is nothing wrong with that.
10. I finally love myself.
I'll end this with a prayer..
I pray for you that you have the ability to find the courage in our life to look deep within to find yourself. I pray for you to challenge yourself in ways you never thought you could. I pray for you to find your own happiness. Life really is amazing. Whatever struggles you are facing with, I pray you have the strength to over come them. You are an amazing person and you have every right to think that about yourself.
As I travel down this journey called "Life" I've learned that this is one thing that I have struggled with through out my teens and mid twenties and I am finally learning how to change the behaviors. My "need" for people as been a little unhealthy. As my best friend says I have what is called the "Cinderella Syndrome" I have a tendency to find members of the opposite sex who, lets just say have more baggage than what is needed for the trip.. Dont get me wrong, we all have bags to check at the airport but some bags need to be left at home As I have been focusing on myself lately these past few months I have realized that all of my past relationships have been with females travel with too many bags. This is where the Cinderella Syndrome comes in to play. I want to make them feel better, when in reality I am not meeting my own needs. I want to "fix" them, but fail every time .Every relationship I have been in has been with someone who needs to leave their bags at home. Now that I know this about myself, its been a battle within myself to change these nasty habits. Bad habits die hard. This personal growth hasnt been an easy thing for me. I used to blame things on myself and I would be a "victim" I am here for myself and to take care of myself. I am in control of my thoughts and emotions. I no longer blame my thoughts and feelings on a certian person or certian events in my life. We all want to make other people feel good about themselves, but when you are constantly trying to make other people feel good rather than yourself, you start to feel feelings of resentment. It has been a painful process learning about my own needs and values instead of what everyone else wants. You can call it whatever you want, but I call it codependency issues.
I didnt need to "fix" someone who was abused in their past. I didn't need to fix someone who was half deaf. I didnt need to fix someone who was unable to have children, All I can do is fix myself. Call it what you want but I have accepted myself and I am an amazing person. Call it cocky, or call it alittle self confidence but my life is amazing.I have accomplished things in my life at the age of 26 that many people who havent. When you finally accept who you are your life really does just fall in to place. You stop worrying about the past, or the future and you just live for one day at a time. Yes I could die tomorrow and thats okay with me. When you accept you you are, you are no longer afraid to die. My energy will just continue on. Until recent events I never took the time to make my own self happy. There are many things in my life that make me happy. These are what I call self truths.
Self Truths.
1. I find happiness in myself when I watch the sunrise on the beach. It puts perspective in my life about whats important.
2. I love my family more than they know. They shaped me into who I am..in this moment..right here..right now.
3. My dad will always be one of the best men I know.
4. I love that I am an approachable person.
5. I am a great person who only wants the best out of myself and the people around him.
6. I will not compare myself to anyone else. I am my own person who is unique.
7. I will not live in the past..nor will i live in the future. God gave us the moments right now to create our reality.
8. I make a great best friend, who else could you call at 3 am when you need to talk to someone. My phone is always on.
9. I am and always be a passionate and sensitive person and there is nothing wrong with that.
10. I finally love myself.
I'll end this with a prayer..
I pray for you that you have the ability to find the courage in our life to look deep within to find yourself. I pray for you to challenge yourself in ways you never thought you could. I pray for you to find your own happiness. Life really is amazing. Whatever struggles you are facing with, I pray you have the strength to over come them. You are an amazing person and you have every right to think that about yourself.
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